Signs You Need a Masculine-Feminine Reset
Why do some women seem to get everything they want while others struggle to be heard? Meanwhile some men command respect without saying a word while others constantly overcompensate?
It all comes down to the energy in the masculine and feminine qualities we all hold.
At some point, you’ve probably felt a tension between pushing forward and letting go, between logical solutions and intuition, between control and flow.
Whether we realize it or not, these opposing forces shape every part in how we experience our lives; from how we show up in relationships, how we pursue our goals, and even how we love ourselves.
The problem is that most of us are running on autopilot, a lot of the time being stuck in patterns that don’t serve us.
With anything in life, the work can be done to live in harmony with these energies instead of fighting or ignoring them.
Attracting an abundance of money, new opportunities, and elevated experiences, I give ode to learning the shifts between my masculine and feminine intentions.
So, if you’re feeling disconnected, struggling in your relationships, or just want to understand yourself on a deeper level, this one’s for you.
The Difference Between Masculine and Feminine Energy
Let’s get one thing straight: this has nothing to do with gender.
Masculine and feminine energy exist in all of us, no matter how we identify.
Masculine energy is about action, structure, and getting things done. It’s the part of you that makes plans, takes the lead, and thrives on logic.
Feminine energy is about intuition, creativity, and flow. It’s the part of you that feels deeply, connects with your body, and moves with the rhythm of life.
Think of the masculine as the riverbanks and the feminine as the water. The water needs the banks to have direction, and the banks need the water to have purpose.
When these energies work together, the flow and polarity flows with ease, sometimes effortlessly. When one is overpowering the other, we feel out of sync, disempowered or confused.
Do We Have Both Feminine & Masculine Energy?
Absolutely. But most of us naturally lean more toward one side.
Society doesn’t always encourage balance too, especially in our patriarchy.
For example, a lot of women are taught that being “strong” means being independent, always in control, and constantly doing—which can push them into their masculine at the expense of their feminine.
Naturally, first-born daughters feel the responsibility of being the leader, holding masculine energy close. I see you ladies (as the youngest sister).
Oppositely, some people (especially women raised in certain cultures) are taught to suppress their assertiveness, making them feel like they have to be soft and accommodating all the time.
Neither extreme is healthy. This is where we have it wrong.
Sometime’s we’re too focused on becoming more feminine or more masculine, when the goal is to learn when to embody each energy in a way that serves you the best.
Masculine vs. Feminine Qualities
Masculine Energy Qualities
Structured & focused
Logical decision-making
Action-oriented
Protective & grounded
Goal-driven
Thinks before feeling
Feminine Energy Qualities
Flowing & adaptable
Intuitive-decision making
Receptive
Nurturing & Open
Process-focused
Feels before thinking
A balanced person can shift between these energies as needed. The key is knowing when to lean into one over the other.
Wounded Vs. Healthy Energies (Masculine & Feminine)
Masculine and feminine energies have both their empowered and wounded expressions.
When these energies are healthy, they create balance, confidence and flow. Think of Yin and Yang.
Complementary forces, but needed together to create the bigger picture. They simultaneously live within each other.
When these energies are wounded - shaped by fear, past trauma, or the societal conditioning - it can show up as control issues, insecurity, or emotional suppression.
The Wounded Feminine
When the feminine is unbalanced, it can sometimes show up in two ways: being too passive and insecure or being overly chaotic and emotionally volatile.
If you consider yourself a people-pleaser or maybe an overgiver, that’s the wounded feminine at play- seeking love and validation through self-sacrifice rather than self-worth.
Wounded feminine qualities:
Struggles with self-worth
Overly emotional or completely disconnected from emotions
Feels powerless, lacks confidence
Afraid of being alone, relies on external validation
Over-accommodating, avoids setting boundaries
Can you think of a time or period in your life where you might have embodied some of these qualities? Notice the difference in feeling between this and a time where you’ve surrendered to ease.
The Healthy Feminine
The healthy feminine honors the natural flow of life, trusting your intuition and allowing yourself to receive without guilt.
It’s not uncommon to see women these days striving to embody more of this energy due to the nature of masculine energy overruling our society.
Healthy feminine qualities:
Knows her worth and doesn’t need to prove it
Feels deeply but isn’t ruled by emotions
Open to receiving love, help, and abundance
Nurturing and compassionate, but with strong boundaries
Trusts her intuition and creative power
The healthy feminine is magnetic, never chasing, and always allowing. A prime example of a divine, healthy feminine energy is Marilyn Monroe.
The Wounded Masculine
Remember, the masculine nor feminine energies are not gender-assigned. We each carry both.
The masculine becomes wounded when it’s either overly aggressive and controlling or completely detached and avoidant.
It comes with mistaking productivity for value and suppressing vulnerability out of fear.
Wounded Masculine Qualities:
Controlling, dominating, or overly aggressive
Emotionally detached, avoids vulnerability
Always in “hustle” mode, can’t slow down
Needs external success to feel worthy
Views emotions as weakness
During my time as a competitive athlete during adolescence, I would struggle with the defeat of not being first in a race or competition.
For you, it might be moving too quickly at work to simply check off the boxes, or straying away from feeling certain emotions.
The Healthy Masculine
The healthy masculine at play is stable, present, and leads with confidence rather than force.
Healthy Masculine Qualities:
Leads with confidence, not control
Emotionally present and mature
Takes action with purpose, not force
Protects without suffocating
Makes space for the feminine without feeling threatened
Today, many women seek a healthy masculine presence in their relationships.
After an era where traditional gender roles blurred—pushing women to cultivate independence and self-sufficiency—there’s now a deep desire to reconnect with their feminine essence.
But fully embracing femininity (both in it’s light and dark expressions) in daily life requires men who are rooted in their healthy masculine, providing the stability, presence, and leadership that allow women to soften, receive, and play.
Why Balancing These Energies Matters (Especially in Relationships)
Relationships are all about polarity.
If both people are more in their masculine, it can feel like a constant power struggle. If both are more in their feminine, there could be emotional depth but no real direction.
I’ve struggled with having to take the lead from planning, decision-making, and initiating, so I know how it feels to be exhausted mentally, emotionally, and so forth.
Or maybe you’ve experienced the opposite—feeling too passive, waiting for someone else to take charge, only to end up frustrated that they never do.
Polarity is what creates attraction, passion, and balance in relationships. But also as how we move throughout life.
The best relationships allow both partners to move between these energies.
How to Start Balancing Your Energies
If you need more feminine energy:
Slow down. Stop filling every moment with tasks.
Get in touch with your body—dance, stretch, take sensual baths.
Allow yourself to receive—compliments, help, love.
Express your emotions instead of suppressing them.
Connect with nature and creativity.
If you need more masculine energy:
Set goals and follow through.
Take responsibility for your choices.
Strengthen your ability to hold space for others.
Protect your energy—stop over-explaining or people-pleasing.
Learn to make clear, confident decisions.
To restore balance between your masculine and feminine energies, start with a self-audit to identify where you may be operating from a wounded state.
Write down the answers to these questions in a journal entry:
Do I often feel burnt out from constantly doing, achieving, and controlling, or do I struggle with motivation and taking action?
Am I overly giving in relationships, seeking validation through care, or do I have trouble opening up and receiving support?
Do I set firm boundaries with confidence, or do I find myself people-pleasing and avoiding conflict to keep the peace?
Learning to Flow Between Seasons
Life isn’t about choosing one energy and sticking with it.
Some days, you’ll embody more masculine energy, making moves and getting things done.
Other days, you’ll want to soften, let go, and trust that things will unfold.
The key is knowing when and how to embody each energy so that you’re not forcing, resisting, or operating from wounds.
If you have a menstrual cycle, cycle syncing may give you the energy cues needed to find a more balanced alignment in your everyday energies.
When you master this balance, I can assure you’ll feel a deeper connection to your body, more alignment within your relationships and your manifestations will be drawn to you like no other.